Time out
I use an egg timer: the three-year old get three minutes and the five year old gets five minutes time out when they need to re-consider their behavior. I put them to sit on a stool in the kitchen. I know there has been some debate whether "penalty bench" is harmful for a child. My opinion is that it is more harmful for the child if he grows up without any boundaries. It damages a child if he is not taught what is right and what is wrong when he is small.There are some principles when using the time out method:
1) Don't be harsh: the time must match the age of the child (3years old > 3minutes, 4 years old > 4minutes etc.)
2) After the time out, ask the child why she or he was punished.
3) Usually a child is ready for a hug after the punishment. Give it to her or him. They must feel that Mommy loves them still. The kids are different. My daughter has always needed reassurance after she has argued with me.
Toy out
With my five-years old I have noticed that by taking one of her favorite toys and putting it somewhere where she can see it, but can't reach it, is actually more effective punishment than using a penalty bench. I usually tell her when she will be able to get it back. I must admit that I am quite soft and her toy has never been over night there. Hmmm... maybe I should apply the egg time also here.Bath Time
I have also noticed that it is effective to use the egg timer when my son should finish his bath. If I tell him to come out, he refuses and starts arguing with me. But when I tell him that his bath is finishing soon, and I will put a timer to ring when it finishes, he has time to adjust and when the timer rings, he is ready come out.
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